From the first moment I noticed the recently opened neighborhood oddity called The Production Lounge, I talked and debated about it non stop. I had so, so many questions and concerns. Firstly, how can anything like this be created in 2008? The font, the theme, the colors, the everything couldn't be perceived as contemporary by anyone that lived past the year 1995.
More questions and concerns arose after looking at their website, a website that begins with this thing, a video that could easily, without a single edit become a Tim and Eric sketch. As I shared the link with more and more people, they kept asking if there was any way this was one elaborate joke? Look at owner and director of straight to video horror film, Knock Knock, Joseph Ariola and you tell me.
But seriously, crappy chairs (that look like Sims outdoor furniture) and a few tables on a balcony set up to be a VIP section, with bottle service? Really? Just who does Mr. Ariola think his clientele will be? According to this, it's meant to cater to the area's production teams and film nerds. And as for those of you who are production company people, you tell me: would you want to hang out in a production assistant themed bar after getting off your production assistant gig?
And it's bid to attract film lovers is as subtle as Build a Bear workshop is to attracting lovers of teddy bears. I don't care how much of a film nerd you are, I don't think most fans of movies want to be catered to with directors chair stools, bright lights with gels on them and a long casting couch that looks like it might be covered in semen. And this photo was intentionally on put their site in an attempt to make you actually want to go there.
Other photos on the site? Try the models section, a completely unexplained section full of head shots of body builders with fake breasts (not an accusation, we all know real big tits and body building never go hand and hand). You too are encouraged to bring in a head shot, though it's not specified if you have to be a body builder with big breasts. As one friend said, it sounds like “a plan that encourages stalkers and rapists”.
And lets not forget the added bonus, which Joe (I'm going to call him Joe now), describes on his site as “the best of all!” Everything is shot live on camera! What does that even mean? So what, we can watch ourselves share a snide, smug drink “surrounded by crystal chandeliers, TV monitors, tables and chairs” – because what girl doesn't want to be surrounded by 'TV monitors, tables, and chairs?'
And these are just my musings before we even set foot in the place. I booked my friends right away, with the sneaking suspicion that this place was not long for this world.
Soooo, we went for a visit, and yes the place is totally weird and awkward, but our waitress was so completely sweet that I felt guilty making this the worst place to drink (which I expected to – plus, there's kind of a mob front vibe that I might not want to get on the bad side of) so I opted to simply and fairly make it the worst website of the year, though I probably won't find myself drinking here again either.