Last night’s circus of a Gubernatorial debate was entertaining, if not sparking all the fireworks I was hoping for. Seven candidates, each getting a few minutes to answer questions (or more often, go off on tangents unrelated to the questions) equals a totally uninformative couple of hours but it was no waste of time if you love crazy people. First of all, I’d like to know how they managed to make it look like archival footage from 1983, particularly the opening shots of host Doug Geed – maybe it was a subtle nod to the days of Cuomo’s papa? Anyways…
Coumo was fine. He will win and I think/hope he’ll do a decent job in a very tough political and financial environment. Paladino was barely present. Obviously without poncing on the urge to get rage-y the man is a doddering nothing. He even got up during people’s final words to take a piss!!! It was frankly disappointing. I assumed he’d have some choice words and unplanned moments of insanity, but instead he just seemed like some irritated old guy (who still doesn’t like gays).
The crazy came from The Rent Is Too Damn High candidate Jimmy McMillan who sports dashingly pro-wrestler style facial hair (I do not mean that as an insult) and a pair of gloves. Not just any gloves, but the kind of gloves murderers wear in Italian horror movies and Murder She Wrote. Among his memorable quotes were “You want to marry a shoe, I’ll marry you” and “I am the governor. I want full control.” At one point he also mentioned a pinky and the brain type plan to mow down mountains upstate to set up his own cable network and power plant.
Kristin Davis read her Roger Stone zingers from a notebook like a junior high girl giving a book report, but, I’ll admit they were pretty funny. Howie actually had some progressive ideas that were more interesting than most people’s dry rhetoric. Unfortunately, he’s never going to win and he expressed these ideas without convincing anyone even with his Steel Magnolias accent. Barron was eloquent enough but usually off topic and Warren Redlich was initially actually cringe inducing. His whining “I’m no politician” speeches called to mind Albert Brooks if he weren’t funny. To his credit, he got a little better as the evening went on.
A one on one debate between Paladino and Coumo would have in many ways been more interesting and helpful to voters – though I see neither one accepting NY1’s invitation – Cuomo because he’s a lock for the position (proven in this debate) and Paladino because he probably realized how badly he’d be beaten.
Of course all of this is leading up to November 2 – a big voting day that I hope all of you make sure to participate in!