Spend a Couple Hours »Get A Hearing Test

Hearing TestMy ear nose and throat doctor is kind of a dick. You know the kind that interrogates you about symptoms then tries to trip you up as if he knows you're lying.

I came to him for help, why would I lie about post nasal drip? We're talking about my sinuses, not whether or not I robbed the Rite Aid last night, bad cop. And while we're on the subject of jerky doctors, I had an orthodontist that I would like to call out, his name was William Something.

That being said, I was nervous about my hearing test, not because I have bad hearing (I can hear someone eat with their mouth open from across an ocean; a blessing and a curse), but because I thought he'd throw me off with his jerky ways.

Fortunately, this totally nice lady wearing one of those odd shoulder pad short sleeve shirt long dresses was my tester. The experience is pretty cool, I felt like I was in Andromeda Strain, being tested to go into Wildfire, if the art director had gone in a brown carpet direction rather than bright whites and primary colors. You go into a box and repeat words and phrases like “birthday”, “blackbird” and “sunshine” as well as listen for tiny beeps.

I passed with flying colors, but found out I do not have super human hearing like I had hoped. I can not, as previously stated, actually hear someone eating with their mouth open from across an ocean.

Of course, Dr. Doom had to throw some shadows on the proceedings by telling me that there is a slight imperceptible dip in my hearing due to exposure to loud noises. He cited earphones, subways, and bars as culprits. He also suggested I wear ear plugs all of the time because, “You're young and you think that you're invincible–well your not”.

He said he wears earplugs all the time and it never impedes on his life. “Oh really, I wanted to ask, is that why you aren't wearing them right now?” But I just smiled politely and promised to buy some wondering why he was so cheap he couldn't just give me the packaged pair he was waving around in my face.

But, yeah, get your hearing tested – you're young but you're going to die someday!

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Posted on April 9, 2007

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