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I hosted my chart reading with a dollar store virgin Mary red candle in one hand and nervous sweat in the other. I was really super excited to have Laura read my chart, but there's always a dark side–all the things you need to watch out for, and those were getting me a bit anxious.

She uses a book aptly titled The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need, a massive paperback tome with prose peppered with awkwardly colloquial asides intended, I assume, to make you feel like you're actually talking to a fringe scarf-draped woman (perhaps like author Joanna Martine Woolfolk herself) who likes to wink and say things like “Wouldn't they like to know”.

My reading was, I have to admit, startlingly accurate. The good and the bad. I am stubborn ( I was described as happily ignoring people's suggestions if I don't agree with them), sometimes vain, seemingly aloof, impatient, and I am a loyal friend until I am hurt or slighted and then I can be acid tongued and vicious.

It also said, and I am not joking, that I should never run because I will fall and hurt myself. My ankles, apparently, are my weak spot. Oh, and this hurting myself will probably happen while I am traveling and I will possibly spend my last days afar and alone.

On the bright side, it also said I have that little thing we that have it like to call “star power”, that I am creative and an idea person who would possibly have several different careers, reaching the top in one (only to possibly fall again). It said I make people laugh and I will be a good mother.

Even the physical characteristics were right on. A pleasant oval face, thin ankles, appearing smaller and more frail than I am, and most accurately, it said I would possibly have gray hair early in life. I have had a large grey spot since I was a kid and am all salt and pepper now.

Even Jim, who is a skeptic of such cat lady things had to admit it was bang on. It was really fun, and I don't know if it's the whole turning 30 thing or what, but it also made me acutely and newly aware of how much more is to come my way in life and that I have no idea what it will be.

One awesome thing that's come of it, since it continually suggested a career in writing is that I have started to do just that.

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Posted on February 4, 2008

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