Now, for a $5 Subscription
I received a Potpourri Catalog in the mail yesterday. It was hilariously addressed to Jim, but I decided to steal it away for a mind numbing peek at it’s offerings. Many you can imagine: singing stuffed animals, non singing crystal animals, kitchen wall hangings about animals (and wine or chocolate)… but I decided to scan a few that really stood out to me and made me utter “oh my god.” Interestingly, nothing from the cat lady pages made the cut – these are, if you can believe it, far stranger than that.
Believe it or not, this “humorous” ball sack actually escaped my attention the first, even the second time through. Maybe because it’s just so subtle and tucked above a huge crystal four leaf clover.
This is pretty par for the course, but if you take the time to really look at it, nothing but confusion will greet you. Is this what has become of womanhood?
Again, the dancing dogs may just be one of many odd keepsake boxes, but there was something mesmerizingly forlorn in the pantless wizard Westie’s gaze. She meanwhile has the long stare of a call girl just making it through the night until she can afford a tube top to go with her crown. Since they were right next door, I’ve included the only thing in here I’d actually wear – almost life like cookie earrings and pendant. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t too if Iekeliene Stange was sporting them in a MJ ad.
This is perfect gift for the aging relative you’ve tucked away in a room without windows. We should all be so lucky to have a Diane Romanello when our time comes to whither away.
This hardly needs additional comment. Though I’d be curious to hear the difference between a power fart and a ripper. A cough fart I can imagine. Plus, it’s only fair to point out the incredible savings if you buy 2 or more. Any kids that can’t drive yet on your gift list? This is the perfect gift if you’re that weird relative that has no idea how to shop for people.
This should really say “Happiness for your feet. Otherwise, disgrace.”
Just… wow. If I had only known about this prior to my bathroom remodeling.
I imagine these are perfect for the two types you see in casinos – immensely fat in a rascal, or skeletal, emaciated on oxygen. As a side note, these could easily by modified to say “I Love Sluts” and “Bongos”.
You may disagree with all the more obvious insanity we’ve seen, but this “Tequila” shirt is the most bizarre in my mind. Crystal studded and positively hideous, it screams to passersby “there’s something not quite right with this old lady planted at the bar”. On the plus side, you can order right off her belly.
This is wonderful news for the environment but sad, sad news for Jim, who lost his subscription before it really even began.
But what do you think?