Albums »Buzz Cuts (Worst Album)

buzz cuts cdSomething horrible happened in the late '90s and early oughts. It frequently wore a goatee; it was usually much older than it was trying to appear; it brazenly co-opted then cravenly twisted Eddie Vedder's signature braying into Scott Staff's miserable whining (what he wrought filled him with so much shame that Vedder actually decided to stop being famous); it incorrectly gave an entire generation the notion that Green Day created punk rock (hey, when you're into Sum 41, Billie Joe Armstrong does come off like an elder statesman); it commonly sported bowling shoes, and fat wallet chains hung from its too baggy trousers.

Some call these songs alterna-rock (alt-rock for fans of extreme brevity), but (the only place you can purchase a CD compiling the worst of it) just calls them BUZZ CUTS. You've seen the ads on TV – and if you haven't you can consider yourself extremely lucky. Like most horrible music, even the smallest hook can get caught inside your head and stay there until you're desperately trying to think of something – anything – to silence the horrible chorus, “Please tell me why the car is in the front yard and I'm sleepin' with my clothes on.”

That question comes courtesy of Lit, and while I don't want to place the decline of rock 'n roll completely on their shoulders (though it's probably a fair place to start), it's worth noting that they did have the audacity to name their debut album after the excellent film A Place in the Sun. But the blame flows wide, belonging to pretty much every irritating song by every irritating band on this album: remember Kryptonite by Three Doors Down; I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace; Fly by Sugar Ray; how about Blink 182's I Miss You? But don't worry, shitty songs that are slightly older by stalwart acts like Hole, Bush, Live, Stone Temple Pilots and even (my God!) the Counting Crows are represented as well. The horror!

See more: Albums

Posted on November 10, 2008

But what do you think?

Your Comment*

Your Name*

Your Email Address*

Your Web Site