Albums »A John Waters Christmas

a john waters christmasWhile some holiday songs are quite pretty and moving and can be performed with such magnificence that they fill your heart with the spirit of the holiday, I think you'll agree that most of what is forced into your ears from stores and the radio is horrific garbage that makes you insane. If you want the most extreme of horrific garbage – to the point that it is fun in its awfulness, look no further.

A John Waters Christmas is filled with obscure oddities like the atonal child-sung song “Santa Claus is a Black Man” (a song Jim had to stop playing at work for reasons of taste and obnoxiousness) and the song “Fat Daddy” another kind of atonal song sung by a fat daddy that sounds like he could also sing a song called “Prison Daddy”.

Don't miss the endless ramblings of Little Cindy – who goes on and on about Jesus dying on the cross in “Happy Birthday Jesus” – which could almost be called a song. That one ends with the sinister implication that Cindy's mother plans on killing her and herself on Christmas eve.

Hm, now, I don't even know how to get into “Here Comes Fatty Claus” – the song with the lines “here comes fatty with a sack of shit, sack of shit, sack of shit”. Yep.

So, this is not an album suited to everyday listening and some of the songs are difficult to listen to even once – but safe and pretty is not what you are wanting or expecting from John Waters is it? You want Alvin and the Chipmunks assaulting your senses and tales of crippled adopted children, right?

But wait! It is worth noting that there are some genuinely grand old bits of loveliness like Stormy Weathers “Christmas Time is Coming” and Jimmy Donley's “Santa! Don't Pass Me By”. I promise.

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Posted on December 24, 2007

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