They're terrible, sure… but just to be fair I'll let them defend themselves in their own words. These are some of Heidi's:
'Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted, ya know?'
'I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God.'
'I plan to win an Oscar. I'm very ambitious.'
'I grew up watching Britney Spears. That's someone I inspire to be, you know, like, career wise. I think the world is ready for the next pop star and I'm ready to be the next pop galaxy, so here we go.'
'[Joining the Mile High Club] was maybe the best experience I've ever had in my entire life.'
'I'm more of a modern Mother Teresa.'
'Not picking Heidi for the vice president, it's just cold.'
[On Heidi's song, “Fashion”]: 'It's the greatest song of my life.'
'My hustle is just too crazy. I'm trying to take over the world!'
'Anyone in Transformers or Twilight — that's cheating. Because if you give me a billion dollar marketing machine behind Speidi, we would be Obama right now.
'We're just heating up the water in the bathtub. It's gonna get hot!'
'I have never been so madly in love as I am with Heidi. She has the world's greatest boyfriend!'
'I secretly am the hottest rapper in the game.'
'Heidi Montag is the “new, modern day, 2010 Michael Jackson”. Like, Michael Jackson's in heaven. The Holy Spirit now has Michael Jackson juice, so boom! For all we know, Heidi gets possessed with Michael Jackson's divine spirit.'
I'm not often on 'corpulent vampire' Al Roker's side, but I do enjoy this clip.