directed by Fred Dekker (1986)

A bevy of unflattering taffeta and lace prom dresses, sculpted teenage boy hair, exploding heads, an axe murderer, aliens from outer space, a vengeful tough guy cop, frat pranks, cryogenics, flame throwers, grotesque slugs, zombie cats and dogs and even some brief nudity and a touching youngman friendship… yep there’s a lot to love about The Night of the Creeps.

I put the movie at the top of my queue due to it’s comparisons to The Night of the Comet, my personal favorite movie of the genre. That genre being tongue in cheek horror comedy that’s not afraid to offer genuine scares as well as laughs. The Stuff and Scream could also be applied.

The others I mentioned you may have heard of but even a movie nerd like myself was less aware of this little, funky 80’s gem. Part of the reason is that it wasn’t released on DVD until October of last year (which was also the reason why it’s been on my queue with a very long wait for months). Truly until it’s release an underground cult classic, bootleg VHS’s of the movie were passed among fans and sold on ebay.

Of course, it is what it is and I don’t want to over hype it. It’s fun, it’s a great way to take your mind of anything for a couple hours and it’s the best work of Fred Dekker who also helmed House, Robocop 3, and The Monster Squad (which didn’t hold up quite as well as I had hoped).

Click here to see the rest of Night of the Creeps

by Queen (1986)

If you’re anything like me then you have more than a few X Files reruns filling up your DVR; and if you’re a lot like me then you get to relish, albeit ever so briefly, the final seconds of the Highlander theme song (“I am immortal/ I have inside me blood of kings!!”) as the sub-par television show comes to its rightful end and the the compressed credits, which have been running at triple speed below and to the right of a Caprica teaser, increase to their full size and the song’s volume increases… It’s a moment of sheer bliss for me (find joy in the little things, right?), that I try to take in at least a couple of time a week.

Unsurprisingly, the song’s awesomeness is due to the glittery talent of Queen who, back in the day, were the go-to act for science fiction epic songstressing (see the incredible Flash Gordon theme). The theme is actually entitled Princes of the Universe and has a video where Freddie Mercury does battle with Chris Lambert (see below) – although I wish it were Clancy Brown as The Kurgan sparring with FM… though how could so much greatness accurately be captured on-screen at one time?

Click here to see the rest of Princes of the Universe

directed by David Lynch (1986)

Blue Velvet is an example of the work of an artist with a singular vision at its best. Next only to the first season of Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet is David Lynch’s tightest, most dynamic, haunting and effective work. Still, it manages to be surprisingly unseen even by people who claim to be fans of Lynch’s work. As a girl I was obsessed with the movie long before I even saw it, I’d speculate about the plot based on the poster until my parents relented and let me watch it years later in my early teens.

In this highly symbolic tale of the dark side of small town America, a remarkable cast (Isabella Rossellini, Dennis Hopper, Laura Dern, Dean Stockwell, Brad Dourif, and Jack Nance) acts out a disturbing melodrama turned on its ear (both figuratively and literally). Even with the deliberate pacing – and as those of you who have seen it can attest, everything about this film is deliberate: from the color of the hallways, the angle on the stairwells (only Lynch can create scary stairwells, see Laura Palmer’s house) to the hum and tone of the rooms – the action moves rapidly. It’s a wild ride, not unlike the joy ride a certain insane character demands.

It’s a Lynchian film through and through and unlike anything else you’ve seen, though it’s not for everyone. I can’t quite believe I’ve failed to recommend it before now, but better late than never. And if you’ve seen it before, it only gets better with each subsequent viewing.

Click here to see the rest of Blue Velvet

by Sigue Sigue Sputnik (1986)

Like many of us (I assume) Love Missile F1-11 by cyber punk pop band Sigue Sigue Sputnik (which means burn, burn missile) is familiar to me because of its inclusion in the 80’s classic comedy, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The band, who as you can see below/after the jump, look like loads of fun with their towering mohawks, tight bright pants, and dripping leopard furs. Sadly, the band itself never experienced any major fame aside from this single though members went on to form Sisters of Mercy and Big Audio Dynamite II.

Click here to see the rest of Love Missile F1-11

R.E.M. (1982)

Sure, R.E.M went on to become a pretty big band, but I’ve always thought their first EP contains some of their best work. I hadn’t listened to these songs for a long time, but a fairly recent interview with Tucker Martine on All Songs Considered put me back in the mood and I dug up my copy of Dead Letter Office.

All the elements that would propel the band first to the top of the college charts and then onward and upward to the real big time when they signed with Warner Brothers (the first time, back in 1988 and then again, for like $80 million, in 1996) are pretty much fully formed: Peter Buck’s signature urgent, jangly guitar tone, Stipe’s mumbly and oblique lyrics, Mike Mills’s thoughtful – even occasionally playful – bass lines, and Bill Berry’s masterful fills would serve the band well up to the release of Document; and that’s partially what’s so wild about this record: the point of view comes across so complete, so… so wholly developed that the only other debut recording I can draw a comparison to is that of another jangly-toned guitar player and enigmatic front man.

The first two tracks have always been favorites of mine with Stumble edging out Wolves, Lower as a song I can listen to over, and over, and over again – and they’re both overlong, which is something I absolutely love about them. Mitch Easter’s ahead-of-their time production techniques (weird sound-scape breakdowns with almost Native Americany undertones) and the insistent mystery these songs evoke make them endlessly re-playable pieces of pop music – even with the advent of online lyric databases, the meaning of these songs still eludes me.

The images below/after the jump harken back to a special time when buttoning your top button was totally de rigueur.

Click here to see the rest of Chronic Town

I got into serious trouble once back in elementary school for bringing this V.C. Andrews book, Petals on the Wind, to school and now, years later, I understand why and completely agree with the verdict. I was expecting some melodramatic YA fiction but what I got was queasy grossness by way of glamorized incestuous pedophelia. As a fairly reasonable adult I can not believe that this was marketed so successfully to pre-teen girls for decades. It's an outrage

Picking off where the teen lit (even abbreviated as 'lit' and paired with 'teen', the reference to legitimate literature is misleading) phenomenon Flowers in the Attic left off, the Dollanganger clan is out of the attic and off to follow their dreams of becoming ballerinas and doctors. They meet a seemingly kindly old man who takes them in and… Well, really I can't even tell you what ends of happening, I felt so off-put by the whole thing I actually put the book the book back in my purse and?defiantly rode the rest of the way home with nothing to occupy my time. Worst of all: my copy didn't even have the cut-out cover art!

It's really quite curious that I've never recommended the True Stories soundtrack, because it's been a staple of listening pleasure for me for eons. As I've recounted to you before, the movie itself is spectacular and smile inducing and the music, released with Talking Heads songs is just as uplifting.

Byrne initially intended to release an original cast recording containing the songs as they're heard in the film, sung by actors like John Goodman, Swoosie Kurtz and the late, great Pops Staples but at the last minute DB reconsidered and Talking Heads re-recorded the tracks (a move Byrne later lived to regret); though if you get a recent remaster, you'll at least get the Pops Staples and Tito Larriva vocal mixes.

Music video hits like Wild Wild Life and Love for Sale made this pseudo-soundtrack to a pretty obscure film relatively popular and successful but the entire album is golden, not just the familiar songs. Papa Legba, Dream Operator, and City of Dreams are some of my particular favorites.

Well, it's certainly been a long journey tracking down The Naughty Nineties: A Saucy Pop Up Book for Adults Only; it's been fun though – I rediscovered The Curious Sofa and Peter Seymour's other saucy pop up about the 1920's.

This is the real deal though – theses are the boobs I remember seeing in the bathtub as a young girl. I've posted images over at RC.

Undoubtedly, the images I posted over on RC are going to make Hardbodies look like a lot more fun than it is. The film is no B-movie delight like Joysticks, mostly because of an overwhelming grossness factor.

The plot concerns a homeless surfer named Scotty Palmer who gains employment as a sort of pimp to three “sex geezers”- old men who have moved in together to a summer beach house to get laid. Scotty's best friend is a horny monster face of a kid named Rags who has beef on the beach with a roaming gang of sexual predators (see man in the “Boogie Til You Puke” tee).

Watching said men get mesmerized by boobs and suffer from nauseating blue balls (see after the jump) is perhaps less exciting than it sounds. But on the other hand, there is an all girl band called Vixen who rocks my world in leg warmers with a song called “Computer Madness”, there are performing bodybuilders, there is a car water bed sex palace, and there are numerous fake breast antics that you just can't find in comedies anymore.

Oh, and some photos after the jump are not safe for work – and one in particular (which includes a feather boa) is likely to give you nightmares. I apologize.