Sunset Boulevard may just be, with stiff competition from Double Indemnity, the ultimate American film noir. And even if that is debatable, I think very few people could argue its perfection.

Directed by Billy Wilder in 1950, it was daring in its cynical view of Hollywood and the way that the studio system built up stars only to tear them down. In fact, many real-life former superstars came back from the abyss to star in this film: Buster Keaton, Anna Q. Nilsson, and H. B. Warner make surprising cameos as a group of has-beens that the film's narrator refers to as “the waxworks”. Erich von Stroheim, whose own rise to fame, infamous suspected orgies and eventual decline can be read about in the pages of Hollywood Babylon, nearly plays himself as a former movie director turned butler.

But it's Gloria Swanson's show as the deluded Norma Desmond, a woman deranged into a monster of sorts after a life of fame and fortune followed by a slow decline into madness and oblivion which she can't comprehend or accept. With her wraith-like claws, wicked teeth, pointy eyebrows, and deranged plans for a comeback, she's surely one of the most intriguing women ever put on film, though she's not the only curious character.

William Holden plays Joe Gillis, a dashing young up-and-coming writer who has a real possible future ahead of him. His career isn't soaring yet, but he's working and he's even met a nice girl he could love (the two of them share one of my favorite romantic scenes ever when he says, “May I say that you smell really special?”) Yet through circumstances he ends up in the claws of Miss Desmond and, rather than running the other way, he somewhat happily stays put.

Like many young people before and after him in Hollywood, he decides to take the easy way, in essence working as Desmond's whore rather than struggle through life on his own dime. Ingeniously, he narrates the tale of his ultimate demise posthumously and with a had boiled edge. In the opening scene we see his corpse floating face down in a swanky mansion pool. From the very beginning, we're assured of a very unhappy ending.

Turned into an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical in 1992, the original film version lost the Academy Award for Best Picture to another jab at stardom, All About Eve. While both are worth a watching, Sunset Boulevard is a true masterpiece. The Academy Award winning art and set direction, the Edith Head costumes, the cinematography by John F. Seitz, are all representative of the best of the best.

Sure, George Michael's been sleeping in his car and he's gotten caught in public bathrooms enough times that even when buoyed by the best self mockery and sense of humor, it's beginning to get sad. But never say never! The world has considered the man on the outs before and he hit back, settomg his former image (literally) ablaze, supermodels by his side.

Of course, I'm talking about the double whammy punch of Freedom '90 and Too Funky that featured anyone who was anyone at that time in the supermodeling world. Linda, Naomi, Christy, Claudia, even Ty-Ty. And as side note, has anyone else noticed how these ladies?are still dominating (minus Nadja Auermann, who I might just miss the most) – it seemed like at least half of the new September campaigns feature these throwbacks.

It's good to see them in the pages of Vogue, but when they got dressed in their big sweaters and chewed gum on the runway for G.M., that's when they really mesmerized my twelve year old mind.

Freedom '90 (but friends can just call it “Freedom”) came first and that iconic video was shot by David Fincher. G.M. was sick of his old image, man! No longer desiring to be a whore for the cameras (later he'd make an acception for the Beverly Hills public toilets) he decided not to appear in front of the camera. Supermodels were flown in and the rest is early '90s pop culture history.

The campier, day-glo Too Funky was next, featuring the outrageous work of Theirry Mugler (see this week's style icon) and yet another bevy of models, including some more interesting choices like former Cat Woman lovely Julie Newmar and Pedro Almodovar's muse, Rossy De Palma Maybe I was just at the right impressionable age but in my book fashion and music have never made such good friends.?

Even though you're likely never to have heard of him, you can definitely count Italian genre icon Ivan Rassimov among the most handsome serial screen villains ever.

He was dealt a tough hand early in his career when he had to decline a role in Fellini's Juliet of the Spirits for a role that was almost entirely cut from John Huston's The Bible: In the Beginning. From then on, it was all Mario Bava vampire flicks, giallo horror films, spaghetti westerns and a lot of work in the uniquely disgusting cannibal sub-genre with films like Eaten Alive and Man From the Deep River. Apparently he was not destined for a life of art cinema and his career lead him to the polar opposite; a job that I would assume is a lot more fun.

As with Edwige Fenech, it was Matthew's giallo trailers introduced me to Ivan's incredible looks–think Clint Eastwood mixed with Udo Kier but dressed like a swinging Italian Yves Saint Laurent.

I finally caught him in action as weird ex-boyfriend Jean in the The Strange Vices of Mrs. Wardh. His screen presence is fiery and striking and it's a shame that his name isn't more well known. For such a prolific career in such a cult world, I kind of thought there would be more information available, or at least some fan boys wild about this rugged, steely eyed heart throb. But alas, most of the information I could find is gathered from his obituary (he died in 2003).

On screen, raven haired siren Edwige Fenech is at her best when she's pouting her lips and displaying slight fear in her heavily lashed and outlined dark eyes. She also excels at tossing her head as her clothes are ripped off, parading her supple round bottom, and running (with varied degrees of success) in fabulous high heels.

Her hair is unbelievable–so thick and dark you could get lost in it for weeks–and her skin is white as alabaster. She was custom-made for giallo films: an Italian thriller genre that relies heavily on prolonged murder scenes of fashionable women, stylish cinematography, and plenty of nudity and sex. These are the precursors to modern day slasher films and have a massive cult following.

Also a star in Italian comedies of the sixties and seventies, Fenech is adored world wide thanks to a prolific career that spans over 75 films. Here in the US, she's slightly less famous, but has might have reached a new audience with a role in Hostel Part II.

I first became aware of her work while watching the dazzling and provocative trailers she stars in over at my friend Matthew's impromptu giallo trailer marathon. Her unique beauty intrigued me so I decided to try one of her many, many films. I settled on 1970's The Strange Vice of Mrs Wardh, which is highly praised film among the genre's fans.

Aside from the work of Argento, I usually have a difficult time finding giallos that really work for me and while this one wasn't quite worthy of this week's movie slot, it was better than most and a total must-see if you do happen to love this genre. But even though it didn't completely win me over as a giallo fan, it definitely won my heart thanks to its dimple chinned star (and it's rugged villain–see this week's hunk).

Fenech's story doesn't end on the screen with blood splattered across her breasts, over the years she's gone on to become a pretty major player in Italian film production.

It's a weird tagline, I'll admit, but the taste is pretty awesome. The insides are actually a liquidy, sugary marshmallow (as you can kind of see from my photo). It's the same recipe that's been used since the company (the same family still runs things today) began making penny candy in the 1920's.

I had my very first cup today, and that may not be such a bad thing. If these were at the ready when I was growing up with a massive sweet tooth, I probably wouldn't have any teeth left. ?br/>
You can grab this piece of nostalgia at Whole Foods and elsewhere.

Every year the hip Japanese company Uniqlo hosts a tee design shirt contest where the winner receives an impressive sum of money, and his or her design is sold in stores. That impressive sum this year? 3,00,000 yen!! That's nearly $30,000. I'm going to enter, if only to force myself to make a couple deigns outside of my work life.

The deadline is Sept 21st,?entry forms are available here and here are the details.

Good luck to us all!!

Past the Catskills, between Otsego and Chenango counties, the land of huge old wooden farm buildings teetering on the brink of falling down, shiny, gleaming Dodge Rams with souped up engines, and expansive fields of green with something usually burning in the distance, we found a little cabin to rent for our fifth anniversary.

Outside the small and regionally typical town of New Berlin that has a feed and grocery store and a teenage-run spot to buy hoagies (these three things can be found in nearly any town west of I-87) the cabin lies on a secluded 4 acres. Past a kind of wild trailer park (with things burning in the yard), the gates open to a private long driveway that opens to a spectacular scene. The lovely pond, the surrounding trees, and the quaint cabin are picturesque and offer the kind of secluded relaxation the waining days of summer call for.

While there will be no swimming for you in the pond – it's quite shallow with a murky bottom and is teaming with fish, it is great for rowing – an activity I got pretty good at by the end of the long weekend. There is also a small sauna that was a bit overwhelming for me for any longer that ten minutes or so, but a fun luxury to have at your disposal.

While you're not exactly roughing it with a?full kitchen and running water, the furniture set up is less than comfy. If you plan on watching movies late at night, bring a lap top and watch it on the porch on the futon (It's almost like seeing a movie at a drive in). The double bed, which at first seemed daunting due to it's hardness was actually just fine – perhaps there is some validity to the claim that a hard mattress is good for your back.

There is a barbecue that is kind of tough to get going and a nice trail beside the house as well as tons of toads, frogs, geese, and reportedly a red fox (hence the cabin's name) but he didn't make an appearance during our stay.

Not far from town, affordable produce, pulled straight from the ground can be bought from Gayle Austin (up route 8 from New Berlin), though beware!! She is a talker and mostly, she wants to talk about how you have no future unless you too become an organic farmer and that NYC will be under water in ten years leaving us stranded to die on the island. Fun times, but her carrots were sweet and delicious.

We stayed the long weekend and there are lots of attractions and things to do nearby (which I'll be getting into more detail about in future weeks).

It's nearly impossible not to compare TruTV's Suburban Secrets with A&E's far superior City Confidential, the greatest true crime show ever put on television. Both focus on the community and people effected by a crime and both include a smug, slightly humorous narration.

City excelled thanks to the late, great Paul Winfield's extremely wry and sardonic voice and an hour long running time. 60 minutes always gave the producers ample time to develop extremely compelling portraits of the towns and cities they profiled, and the often unique denizens that reside there.

Grudgingly, I have to admit that Suburban Secrets' faults also make it pretty enjoyable, if you're willing to forgive, or at least forget, the network's cancellation of City Confidential (what happened, Arts and Entertainment network?! Gene Simmons needed a bigger budget? Criss Angel needed some more semi-competent After Effects artists and a new handcuff necklace?), and enjoy this new, dumbed-down, punned-up version for what it is.

First off: it's only 30 minutes long which, while the reduced running time hurts the storytelling, it does make it the prefect length for dinner time viewing.

Second, and most entertaining, is the way the producers cajole actual locals into recreating dramatic scenes like the first time they heard about the murder or the day everyone in the office was speculating as to who had done it. These clearly excited but decidedly untrained folks often come off a bit uncomfortable (almost every episode features a bevy of gossipy women exclaiming, “Well, I never!” over tea and knitting while their eyes dart nervously around the room), but the end result is brilliant.

It takes the age old art of the dramatic recreation, so beloved for its cornball genius on shows like Ripley's Believe It or Not or America's Most Wanted, and makes it new again.

And if I can't have new episodes of City Confidential (as you can tell,?I still have not forgiven or forgotten), I'll take this much slighter, but undeniably entertaining alternative.

Well, it doesn't make for a pretty picture but the traditional Patty Melt makes a delicious meal. The only thing I would change about this recipe, which is perhaps less calories than you would expect (at 341 per sandwich), is the flavor of the actual patty. It was a bit too bland for me and I'll be trying some additions on future patty melt afternoons.

There's not a whole lot of information on the sandwich, which is kind of surprising considering an entire network is almost entirely devoted to telling us where food comes from, but it's bandied about the internet that it originated at a place called Tiny Naylor's, a now defunct California drive in.

Also a mystery, is a character named Patty Melt that Wikipedia claims the Beef Council uses for the promotion of the “What's for dinner” campaign. So far my searches?have turned up no such character, but I do like the idea that she is “a large plush cheeseburger with a pink ballcap and long blonde braids” who “has made appearances at state fairs, NASCAR Races, children's events, and beef cook-offs”