Lifetime Movie Network Gold

Well, hello there sugar. You in the mood for the kind of scenery chewing actin’ that the lil’ old Lifetime Movie Network was made for? You just itchin’ for the kind of yarn that’s hotter than a junebug on Georgia asphalt? Well, then pull up a chair and grab yourself a glass of sweet tea (something that I’ve learned from both this miniseries and NBC’s To Catch a Predator is always a trap) and settle in for Ann Rule’s Everything She Ever Wanted – a series that begins with a genuine Gone With the Wind-themed weddin’.

Gina Gershon smacks her lips around the role of real life sociopathic southern belle Patricia Allanson (who in reality bears very little resemblance to Gershon) like some sexed up, large titted dog might around a badly written bone. It makes for a much better viewing experience than Ann Rule’s other recent Lifetime event, Too Late to Say Goodbye, where Rob Lowe plays a seemingly perfect husband, but is actually a wife killer.

So imagine my surprise and horror when, after watching for two hours (gathering as many screen shots as possible), the show ended with Gina injecting an old woman in the mouth with poison followed by a “To be continued…” message – and I didn’t record the second half! Lifetime, shame on you for not re-airing this glorious heap of camp and trash. What do we pay you for?! If you think it’s just for the Reba re-runs (now airing in the morning) and decades-old Tracey Gold amnesia dramas (The Perfect Daughter, aired Wed 25th at 2:00), you are sorely mistaken.